This double goddess from the gulf coast of Mexico, Huaxtec culture dates to approx 200 CE. Her loving expression (s) and the way she embraces herself is a model of the “two-in-oneness” of the double goddess archetype.

“Writing about my cycle story is confronting as it isn't a simple one. Fortunately, I have been blessed with a network of inspiring, enlightened, and in-touch women who have taught me so much about the menstrual cycle, including its powerful and inextricable link to our state of mind/being.

The fact that my cycles have been irregular for much of my 20s is uncomfortable and complex. It has become especially daunting over the last few years since I have embarked on what seems to be unraveling as a momentous healing and growth journey.

My last period was at the beginning of March, which I feel intuitively is linked to current personal circumstances. While I am grateful to be able to make the link between the two, knowing that my body has gone into self-preservation mode is tough.

In my early - mid-20s I didn't give the irregularity of my cycles much thought. I bulldozed through life - having a great time for the most part. But on reflection, I was totally disconnected from myself - abusing my body in a number of ways.

It was thanks to a multitude of circumstances, including a slower pace of life due to COVID, a very special and healing relationship, and a new friendship, that I began to connect with myself and my body. This was both hugely challenging and beautiful. After some time, my cycle became regular and it was a huge relief.

I am grateful to have the awareness now - to know that in order for my body to menstruate it needs nourishment, and to feel safe and secure. While there is part of me that wishes it didn't take this long to connect with myself, I am grateful, and relieved, to be in a space now where I am ready/open to delve into the realities of not having a regular cycle.

A number of emotions present themselves around the uncertainty of my irregular cycles: fear, shame, confusion, and sadness (to name a few). I think it is these emotions that have prevented me from deep diving into my period story over the last few months. I have become increasingly concerned about my fertility, especially as I embark on my 30th decade.

I am hopeful that an ultrasound and blood test will provide me with some answers. If not, I will continue on my journey to nourish, love, and trust myself and my body. I have faith that in time, my cycle will come back and I will be able to embrace and celebrate it every month - never taking it for granted.”

Lara Melita Monro

Editor at Large (UK) @autremagazine
Supports Creative Practitioners via Access Support, Bid Writing, Creative Mentorship @workingwith__
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